So Jake's goals were done...it was time to finish mine and Morgan's. I went ahead and let Abby and Claire off the hook with goals this time around. Their newest thing is jobs. They are currently working on learning to make their bed, tidy their room, and tidy their toys each day. I figure that is enough for now. Maybe when summer comes, they won't be so lucky. ;)
We will start with Morgan's. Her "Take 2 - Goal Setting" session was not near as dramatic as Jake's (see previous post), but it was nice just to sit down with her and give her a chance to make goals for herself. It was interesting that most of the goals she picked were ones that I had previously mentioned. Being a child that is always trying to please her parents I am sure this is no accident. :) But she seems invested in them so I guess it doesn't really matter "who" came up with the ideas right? The point being that she feels invested and is taking ownership of the goals. This ownership will spark her desire to work to accomplish them...we hope. :) So here she is thinking, writing, and decorating her poster...
Proudly choosing the perfect spot to hang it in her room so that she can see it each day...(not the place I would have picked, but it's her room not mine. :) )
And the finished product...ready to be worked on. :)
Keep in mind that these are not goals for the year (as previously determined in goal-setting session #1) but just until school gets out at the end of May. We just thought that the full year would be too long for them to feel the joy of progress. So we switched it to be the goals they wanted to accomplish by summer. Then once summer hits we will do summer goals to work on while they are home all the time. Hopefully this will keep them busy working, accomplishing, and self-confidence building in their abilities to do hard things. :) That's the real "goal."
Ok, on to me. I originally set some goals for myself as well in the "first session" but then read some fantastic insight shared by other amazing women on other amazing blogs about how they were approaching their 2012 year. They talked about how they would choose ONE word to focus on all year long. This particular word would need to encompass all the things they wanted to become better at and accomplish in that time, but it would also serve as a sort of grounding stone for them in their day-to-day lives. It would be in the back of their minds always to help them in every role they were in, whether it be mother, wife, sister, friend, daughter, neighbor, etc. I thought about this philosophy a lot. It seemed to me that this approach would help me a lot more at this point in my life when I wasn't really looking to "do" more, just "be" more. So with a lot of thought, and a little teasing from my honey, I starting trying to come up with ONE word to be my anchor this year. This was actually a lot harder than I thought. I thought it would be easier to come up with one word, rather than set specific goals...not so. It was actually a lot harder because this ONE word had to incorporate progress in just about every aspect of my life! Where do you even start?!
A lot of words came to mind:
Listen
Lift
Purify
Love
etc.
But the more I thought about what I really needed to improve upon in my life, and what brings me down faster than anything else, the more I was led to "my" word. And this is it...
"Positive"
For those of you who know me, you would probably be a little surprised at this word (or at least I hope you would :)). But I have realized something about myself over the last few months. I can get pretty negative. I think this stems from the environment I grew up in. It was pretty negative a lot of the time. So I think I have the natural tendency to look for what is wrong or needs to be fixed with everything. I think this CAN be a good thing...after all, progress comes from evaluation and adaptation. But what I have realized myself doing lately is getting negative about things I CAN'T change. All this does is bring me down. No progress, just depressing. There are some days where I feel like a little black cloud is following me around. I am grumpy. I get snappy. I am far less patient with those I love. That feeling permeates my home and family. I feel it. They feel it. And sometimes it is pretty hard to snap out of. Don't get me wrong, I am not depressed or anything, but I get tired, frustrated, and just plain grouchy. I HATE feeling this way. I have often wondered why I have those days...in talking to other moms I understand that it is pretty normal, but I wanted to find a way to combat it instead of just giving into it. I still have my agency in any situation I am in, so I know that it was certainly my choice to allow myself to feel this way...but how do I change that??? These have been my thoughts for quite some time now.
Then those inspired women, on their inspired blogs, and an inspired friend, who led me to an inspired First Presidency message, by an inspired prophet of God, culminating in a trip here;
inspired ME to look outside of the box. To find a principle rather than a tactic. This little journey of self-discovery led me to find my word...and the answer I had been praying for. The answer is "POSITIVE." It is be positive. Have a positive attitude regardless of the situation or position I am in. Be positive with and about other people. LOOK for the GOOD! When I start thinking and speaking negatively it just brings me down. Makes me feel bad and my attitude toward everything, and everyone else in my life is affected. When I am positive about myself, my abilities, my situation, my trials, my aspirations, and others around me, I am better. I am happier. I am more grateful. I am more compassionate. I love more. I feel more. I notice more. I am a better mother. I am a better wife. I am better at my church calling, and every other role I play.
So this year, my word is "POSITIVE." This word will be set in the back of my mind all year to remind me of the joy that I miss when I allow negative emotions to take over my thoughts and feelings. It's going to be a good year...and if it is not, then I will be CHOOSE to be POSITIVE about whatever may come. :)
Thanks for listening.
Ps. My husband decided his "word" would be DOMINATE! :) He loves to tease me. :)
Jake has started Basketball...a moment he has been anxiously awaiting since I signed him up months ago...he asked just about every week "Do I start basketball yet???" So when the big day came he was stoked! And asked about every 10 minutes that day when we could go to his game. He (and me) are very excited it started. :) Now he just asks when his NEXT game is. :)
Here he is with his cute little team. They practice first and then play games after. I only got pictures of the practice this time, but don't worry...the season last 8 weeks so I am confident I will get some good action shots too. First Trev and I have to "finish" training the girls to sit by us instead of running off...this may take a few weeks and I wonder what the other parents around must be thinking of our "tough love" tactics. :) In our defense...well, nevermind. I don't need to defend right? :) Let's just say it worked with Sacrament meeting...it will work here. :)
Without further adue or diversion...
Jake is #25 in case you were wondering. :) More on this in future posts. For now, GO JAZZ! :)
Ever since we found out we were having twin girls, we have been been in awe of their relationship. They literally are BFF's! They have this connection to one another that I can't completely understand because I haven't experienced it, but I can just imagine what a comfort it would be in life. Here is just a sneak peak of everyday life for these two.
Such cute built-in buddies. I love these twins. :)
So you know that feeling when you feel like you have accomplished something big...when you feel like you can let your mind move on to other things and check that big thing off your list? (I love checking things off...I am VERY much a list person). Well I had that feeling a week ago after we discussed and recorded our family and individual goals over Sunday dinner, posted them here, and I spent a few hours one day designing this...
to frame and proudly display in our kitchen for all to see and be reminded each day. Wheww...done! Right? Wrong. After (of course) I had gone through this whole process...I read a section in my new favorite book on giving kids ownership of their goals:
It basically says that if you give kids ownership of their own goals, guide them in setting them, and create a visual reminder with progress charts, they will be much more motivated to accomplish them and feel more pride in that feat.
With this new insight, I realized that my kids hadn't really set their goals...we had set expectations for them to attain. Ours. Not theirs. I realized this wouldn't do much for what we were trying to teach them about setting goals. It wouldn't teach them to aspire to what they desire, just what we desire out of them. So...I realized, a little begrudgingly since I had already "checked it off" in my mind, that we needed a "Goals...Take 2."
So yesterday, I bought a couple of white poster boards, sat M&J down, and did this thing again. Our family goals stayed the same, because we had discussed and determined these goals as a family. The individual ones were the ones that I felt needed revamping. So it began.
First was Jake. I simply asked him what are some goals he would like to accomplish until the end of the school year in 4 different categories: 1. Spiritual, 2. Educational, 3. Physical, and 4. Service. I offered a few suggestions to help him but was careful not to push my ideas onto him. It took about 45 minutes and by the end he was crying. :) But something interesting happpened. When we talked about his education goals he said he wanted to learn how to be a better reader. As I have mentioned with previous posts, he has struggled with his letters. So I was excited when he said that was his goal (I didn't even suggest this! Hooray!). But then when we were trying to formulate a plan to make this happen I suggested he set a goal of reading a certain number of books by the end of the school year. This is where things got enlightening. He said he wanted to read 2. I said that was too low of a number considering we still had 5 months left of school. I told him "how about 2 a month = 10 books?" He begrudingly obliged...then as we were drawing the 10 progress stars (one for each new book) his eyes started to fill with tears. I could tell he was trying to be brave and not cry, but then I asked him why he was sad, and he lost it. Tears flowing like rain! He finally said in frustration, "I can't read! That's too many!" This stopped me short. Broke my heart really, because I realized for the first time that he was self-conscience about not being able to read yet. I can't imagine too many of his fellow Kindergartners are already reading but it was clear to me that he was frustrated that he could not. This is the first time he has ever express this level of frustration with reading. I put down the marker, sat him on my lap, and tried to lovingly assure him that I would help him with this. That I would help him accomplish this goal...but that the only way to get better at reading was to practice. The 10 books would help him accomplish his goal. In that moment, Trev walked in from work. He came over, I briefly explained what was going on, and promised that he would help Jake too. We also told him because he would have to work so hard to accomplish all these goals that we would reward him by going somewhere fun of his choice (he picked Chuck E. Cheeses...Trev and I hate that place. :) ) once he had accomplished all his goals. That seemed to help him, and you could see the confidence growing on his face as he gained strength from realizing that his parents would be there to help him along his journey.
A couple minutes later, after some final coloring touches, we posted the board in his room for him to see and consistently work on. See that face...much better. :)
I have to say, I am sooo grateful that I read that section in my book. It pushed me to go back and redo this process...which led me to an enlightening experience with my son. If I hadn't taken the time to do this, I wouldn't have known exactly how he was feeling in this area. In addition, Jake wouldn't have had the opportunity to feel his parents unwavering love and determination to be there to help him when things are hard. This process became about a whole lot more than just setting some goals. I am so grateful for this experience.
Now I think I can safely say...
Jake's Goals - CHECK! I love that!! :)
...now onto Morgan's and mine. :)
Today was one of those days you simply don't want to forget. Since M was little, Trev and I started taking her on Daddy/Mommy-Daughter dates. It is basically where she gets a little time out with one of us. We usually do something fun and then get a bite to eat. J gets them now as well. They have proven to be incomparable in building our one-on-one relationships with our kids. We connect with each kid, we learn more about them, we find out what is going on with them. A&C haven't started these yet, but probably will soon. I highly recommend this for any family. It truly is great.
Some dates are just normal, but today I had a GREAT date with Morgan. Next month she turns 8. This is a big milestone in her life because she has the opportunity to get baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It is a big moment and she has been looking forward to this for a LONG time. Among the other special things about this day (more on that when it arrives) she gets a new beautiful white dress to symbolize her purity. Today for our Mommy-Daughter date, we went shopping for "the dress" and out to lunch afterward. I get emotional just thinking about the experience. It was one of those great moments for a mother and daughter. Gave me a glimpse into what wedding dress shopping might feel like. :) One day...I need my little girl a little longer. :)
So here's what happened:
We began the morning with going to Morgan's friend, Faith's baptism. The Spirit was so strong, and it was so neat to see Faith's older brothers teaching her about Baptism and the Gift of the Holy Ghost. I LOVE this gospel!!! After the baptism we headed out. We went to a couple stores...and found a couple she liked, but we weren't sold yet. Then we went to the final store...
Maybe...
Maybe...
YES!!! This is the one.
My feelings were just about bursting out of my chest seeing my little girl in this lovely white dress! She looked so beautiful and she even had black boots on underneath...I am just going to die when she I see her all done up for her pictures and special day!!! Awww...I love this sweet thing.
On the drive and between stores we chatted. We talked about her upcoming baptism, concerns she had at school with standing up for herself the way Christ would, and even planned out her birthday party. On the way home we ate a yummy lunch at Paradise Bakery. MMMmmmm.....
Loved this date, LOVE this growing girl.
With my New Year's goal of creating a better document of our family, and improving my indoor photography skills...I decided to start practicing. So the other day, I thought I would just walk around and photograph some of the everyday things my kids like to do. The lighting in my house was great at the time so here is what I caught...
Our bookworm:
An intense train-track building session (the girls are enamored with trains lately so Gma Moores got them a "girly set" for Christmas. :)
While trying to be "invisible" and catch the candid...Abby got bored with the construction and started posing...fine by me. :)
Then Claire joined in...
I was grateful for her participation. :) This moment became quickly became a perfect expression of their relationship...so glad I caught it.
Next was Morgan and Jake...I had to switch to my flash for this one, so obviously not as good...but it's not all about the quality of the picture, but the quality of the relationships you capture. They are BIG into National Geographic Kids "Animal Jam" lately.
I sure love these little people.
This was the view from my kitchen window the other morning as we began a new year....2012.
Is that not just so incredible?? Very symbolic of what I had been thinking about...the dawning of a new year.
I always love December and all the magic, family, and love that part of the year brings...but I am always so glad when it is all over because it brings a lot of extra work and stress with it. This year we spent a lot of the week after Christmas organizing, doing projects, and trying to squeeze in more family time as well. I am going to be honest. It was a rough week for me. Mostly I think because there was so much Trev and I wanted to get accomplished before he went back to work, family in town we wanted to see, and because I had a lot of primary stuff that I needed to do to prepare for the 1st Sunday. I also had a lot of stuff to do to get our family setting goals and getting back on track for the new year. It left me feeling pretty stressed, and honestly like I felt as though I didn't even get a break at all.
Monday morning, the last day before the kids went back to school and Trev went back to work I pretty much had a "mom-meltdown." You know, the kind where you lock yourself in the bathroom and cry for a while, as the rest of your family wonders what has become of you. :) I told my sweet husband my feelings to which he empathized, and then lovingly offered to try and help. He promised me that at 3:45 p.m. that night we would stop whatever we were doing, take the kids on a walk, and go out to dinner. Just get some family time with just us. That was EXACTLY what I needed. We did just that and it was so great. Like, really great. I am just grateful for a husband who knows me and who helps me see the forest through the trees. Love you sweetheart.
On our walk, we talked to the kids about Honesty (the value we want to focus on teaching them in January). Then we ate at Pizza Pie Cafe...YUM! Then next morning the kids trotted off to school, Trev headed back to work, and the girls and I began the routine, once again. It has been really nice to get back into the swing of things...kind of like the calm after the storm. :)
With everyone back to normal (a relative term) I wanted to take a minute and post our family and individual goals for the upcoming year. Time to get working. :) Again. :)
Lighten Family Goals 2012:
1. Spiritual - Read 5 Book of Mormon verses together a day. Try to get to Alma 15.
2. Educational - Study America. This year we want to teach our kids about our government, history, etc. With it being a Presidential Election year we thought it would be fun to teach them about this great country we are blessed to live in.
3. Physical - Complete 1 bike ride/hike/swim/race/etc. together as a family a month.
4. Service - Once a month do something special for the poor and/or the needy (emotionally, physically, temporally, whatever).
Kids Goals:
Morgan-
1. Spiritual - Read 1 verse of the Book of Mormon each night before bed.
2. Educational - Learn to cook. Make one new recipe each month.
3. Physical - Be able to swim the entire length of the pool without touching the ground or stopping.
4. Service - Begin fasting on Fast Sunday and donate money to fast offerings to help the poor.
Jake-
1. Spiritual - Learn about the following prophets: King Benjamin, Nephi, Lehi, Joseph Smith, and Thomas S. Monson.
2. Educational - Learn about sea life (sharks, fish, dolphins, whales, barracudas, etc).
3. Physical - Learn how to rollerblade and play street hockey.
4. Service - Help keep weeds out of one of our neighbors yard that has major health issues.
Trev-
I can't remember all of his...except to be able to do 6 dead-hang pull-ups...he can currently do 2. :)
Me -
1. Spiritual - Ask for my Saviors' help more often. Don't try to lean so much on my own understanding. Invite the Savior into my everyday.
2. Educational - Document my family. Do at least 1 blog post a week. Increase my knowledge and ability in Photography. I am getting a new camera this year and I with that I want to increase my skill level. Particularly in shooting indoors. I love my outdoor pictures...but my indoor ones don't seem to turn out as well. Learn more about healthy eating...eat less meat.
3. Physical - Run at least 1 half marathon. Add a lifting class at least once a week. Maybe get pregnant. :) We'll see....no I am not currently pregnant. :) Just thinking about it.
4. Service - Become the "Eye of the Storm" in my home. I realize I need to be more patient and loving with my kids. I need to let them enjoy their childhood and not let that slip away. So I will be focusing on my family more this year. I also want to become an expert cinnamon roll maker...I have tried this numerous times and it hasn't worked...they NEVER rise right! I will figure this out this year. :) More of a service to my family than self because I can't eat those. :)
So there we are. Ready to charge ahead. Can't wait to see what this year has in store for us. Happy New Year everyone!
