Learning about me.

This last week has been an eye-opening experience for me.  Just to warn you, this is a post for me.  I debated whether or not to share these things so publicly because althought I may not seem to be, I am actually somewhat of a private person.  I don't believe everyone needs to know everything about you.  There are certain things that you only share with certain people.  However, I gain so much strength from other women's blogs, especially when they share their feelings/thoughts/impressions - both good and bad.  So for two reasons, I am blogging mine. 

#1: Most importantly, I want to document them so that I don't forget.

#2: Because maybe someone reading this will relate and this will strengthen them.

So now that you are all thinking I am going to delve into some deep closet to share my soul...perhaps I have built this up to much.  Or perhaps these things were powerful to me and that is why I view them as personal.

This last weekend, we had our Stake Conference.  For those not of our Faith (LDS) it is a meeting where our local leaders speak to us.  Sometimes a General Authority will come.  This time Elder Brimhall of the Seventy was there.  The focus of the meeting was how can we strengthen and serve others.  I won't go into all the details but I want to record the feelings and impressions I had.

Love

First impression - Sometimes I feel as though I have so far to go in becoming the person I want to be.  Or better yet the person my Father in Heaven created me to be.  There are things that beset me so easily.  But I try SO hard!  I can honestly say without reservation that I know I am trying, and the Lord knows that too.  But still I see my struggles.  So, the thought came to me in Stake Conference that if I try to do these two things with every fiber of my being: Love the Lord with all my heart, might, mind, and strength...and love my neighbor as myself...that everything else will fall in line.  So that is what I am going to try to do.  I am going to try and love.  Love God and love others.  If this becomes my focus I know that I will have the Spirit guide my life and I EVENTUALLY will get there.  And that's all that matters right?!! :)

Art

Second Impression - I am an artist!  I love art!  Particularly, writing, music, and photography.  These elements touch me deeply.  I feel the Spirit when I am creating or experiencing art.  This realization came to me in a number of ways, one of which was while watching some of the LDS Youtube videos on www.lds.org.  The other was attending the plays, The Sound of Music with Trev, and Mary Poppins with Morgan.  In addition, I have been DEEPLY touched my LDS women's blogs who are excellent writers and photographers.  I feel as though I know there families so well, even though many of them I have never met.  I truly love the way photography captures and encapsulates those precious moments of life that the mind forgets.  
This realization about myself came to me as a bit of a suprise.  I grew up in a tiny country town, where the only extra-curricular activities revolved around sports.  I was decent at sports and all my friends played them so that is what I did.  I also grew up in "less-than-well-to-do" family so experiencing art was not a major piece of my childhood.  I actually realized my love for art by watching my daughter Morgan.  Personality-wise, she and I were cut from the same clothe.  I have always known this.  But what I didn't know was that as I studied and tried to help her, I would learn about me.  This is one of those times and I am so grateful for it because now that I can articulate what touches me, I also know what will touch her.  This will be a major piece of my mothering of Morgan from now on.  

Health

Last major impression - this one has really just become a confirmation of MANY impressions I have had in this area.  I never knew why, other than the obvious...it's- important-to-take-care-of-your-body reasons.  I think the first time I began thinking about my health and trying to live a healthy lifestyle was when I went to college.  I wanted to be healthy so that I wouldn't have to spend my whole life dieting like I saw my mom and aunt do.  I just wanted to be healthy so that I could live a long time and be able to do the things my soul yearned to do (i.e. take my family on hikes, go on bike rides with my kids, etc.)  These were not a part of my childhood, but I knew I wanted that for my future and my future family.  I wanted an active family. 
In addition, in my patriarchal blessing, I am counseled specifically to learn how to care for my body so that I can be healthy.  Well, long story short, over the last year I have had even great impressions to cut out sugar, junk food, and start eating more veggies and whole grains...I already eat a ton of fruit.  In fact, I have even been reading this book about healthy eating as well.  Sufficeth it to say that this subject (healthy-eating/exercising) has been something I have had many impressions about, and been studying over time.
WELL...yesterday I went to the doctor for my annual physical.  I told him that I have noticed, mostly in college but progressively getting worse, a great impact when I don't eat regularly throughout the day.  I get very moody, my mind gets fuzzy, and if I wait too long I get shakes, headaches, and start feeling sick.  I also know that there is a great deal of Diabetes in my family.  He informed me that I am already showing a lot of symptoms of Diabetes.  He also told me that with my family genetics, if I don't be super careful how I eat, that I will almost definately have Diabetes.  In fact, he said that if my waistline gets to be a 34, that I would for sure get it.  He also told me that my children would be in the same boat as me.  However, he said if I am careful about what I eat, that I could stave this off entirely for my life.  He also took my blood and we are going to monitor it over the years.  I have THE BEST doctor!  
Now this might sound somewhat scary, but really talking to him was just a confirmation of all the impressions I had had previously.  It was just clear to me "why" this is going to be such an important issue for me.  Why the Lord had prompted me so much in this area of my life.  Why I need to learn how to eat properly.  Why I need to make this a focus in my life and the life of my family.  I love when the Lord blesses you with the "why."

So those were my impressions.  These are my take-aways.

1. Love others.  Even and especially those that are hard to love.

2.  Art.  Take the time to create art through photography, writing, and listening to uplifting music.  Take LOTS of pictures of my kids and make art out of them.

3.  Cut down on, and eventually cut out sugar and refined carbs (i.e. white flour, white rice, etc.)  Continue with previous impressions.  Make my meals for my family more balanced and whole.  Don't forget the "why."

That's all.  Thanks for letting me put these feelings that have been occupying my mind, into yours. :)