Perspective

Do you ever have those moments in life where everything seems to become clear?  Where you feel like you have been endowed with a moment of proper perspective?  I feel like that this morning.  Let me explain.


So this last Sunday was so great.  Before I go on, I have to back up a bit.  Back in April of last year, I received a new calling.  I was called as the Primary President for our ward.  I had not been in Primary since before my twins were born, and I had been secretly hoping that I would be kept out of Primary due to the fact that I was basically running a full-time "primary" in my home all week long.  At that time, I felt like I needed that time during church to be with other adults.  I needed to have adult conversations.  I needed to be spiritually fed and uplifted.  And that I was.  Up until about a month before our ward split.


It was about that time that I started feeling a pull toward Primary.  I wanted to be with the children again.  I love little children, and for the first time since my girls came, I ached to be in the Primary.  


The month went by, our ward split, and the Bishop called to see if he could come visit Trev and I.  I thought I was being called as a primary teacher.  Not so.  Primary President.  This was a bit of a shock to me since I had never been a President of anything before, nor had a I ever served in a Primary Presidency.  I immediately felt inadequate and nervous, but excited for the new challenge and especially, the opportunity to be with the children again.


As you can probably imagine, adding this to being a wife and mother of 4 kids, there have been moments of feeling like I am just keeping my head above water.  The callings of wife and mother are demanding in and of themselves. :)  But I love EACH of my callings.  I grow tremendously in each, and I truly believe this is what the Lord wants me to be doing at this point in my life.  And even though it gets challenging, I kind of enjoy a challenge. :)


One thing I have struggled with lately however, is  that my Sundays are typically crazy.  They feel so fast paced, and often at the end of the day I feel wiped out - mentally, emotionally, and physically. This has been trying for me because of two main reasons.  First, I am used to my Sundays being the day that I get to "rest" a bit.  I get the rejuvenating time I need to prepare me for the remainder of the week and the demands it will most certainly bring.  My Sundays would fill me up like oil in a lamp.  Second, it was my time to spend relaxing with my family.  Everyone is home.  We get a chance to soak each other in.  Since being called as the Primary President however, that has changed.  I go, go, go, and then go some more.  My energy is not replenished, it is zapped. :)  My time with my family is often sparse with meetings and other concerns, but more importantly my mind is occupied with other things as well.  They don't get me.  In addition, Sacrament meeting with twin 3 year old girls has been comparable running a marathon each Sunday.  Enough said.


But this Sunday was better.  It was different. Not much changed about the circumstances, but my attitude changed.  I felt calm.  I spoke sweeter.  I am getting better at handling the crisis each week brings.  I am growing.  The girls were even really well-behaved during Sacrament.  I felt like I should pinch myself. Sharing time was tricky because my girls are now Sunbeams.  It is a whole new experience to have them in there while I am in there.  My secretary and I are in the same situation so that is comforting I guess.  At least it is not JUST my girls having a hard time.  This Sunday was no different.  They still struggled...A LOT.  But I felt different.  I wasn't exasperated.  I felt as though they were progressing.  It felt good actually...although I am sure that is not what everyone else watching thought. :)  But that doesn't matter.  


So sufficeth it to say that Sunday was good.  It felt rejuvenating.  It felt calm.  I needed that.


Now skip to today.  I wanted to work out today.  So I decided to take my girls to the Kids' Fit class at the gym while I went to a class myself.  I was in there 5 minutes and they brought them to me.  They had to go to the bathroom.  No problem...quick trip, and I got back in right after the class started.  I worked out for about 25 minutes and they the girls and their teacher were back.  They were throwing fits, crying, wanted to be held, and simply wouldn't do what they were supposed to be doing to be in the class.  The teacher told me that I should take them to the Day Care instead.  She was nice about it, but in essence she felt they were not ready for the structure of the class yet.  I left my class, and we drove home.  


Here is where the perspective came.  I realized my girls are still really little.  They are also home bodies.  They don't really want to be with a lot of other people.  They are perfectly content playing with each other and being with those that they feel most comfortable around...their family.  I was reminded by the Spirit that Morgan was this way as well at this age.  It made leaving home a struggle.  I am NOT a home body so this was tricky for me.  But that gentle reminder also came with the reminder that it was only a phase.  Morgan is now very social.  She still prefers to stay around here, but she is much different than I thought she would be.  She has lots of friends and is out-going, but she prefers her family.  Is there anything wrong with that?? Heavens NO!  That is what we as parents hope for right??  So , today it became clear to me that my girls are in the same phase.  Hopefully that is all it is for them as well...just a phase.  


The other thing that I have realized is that I am not in the phase of life that I can come and go at will.  I am needed here.  My kids need me.  My husband needs me.  And I need them.  The bonds that are being built are far more important than a particular workout or anything else.  I don't know if this is making any sense  but it is clear in my mind.  It is also what is keeping me from feeling disappointed or frustrated.  


So I just want to thank my Father in Heaven for the perspective He shared with me today, and for the Spirit guiding me as a mother.  I needed Sunday, and it got me ready for today.